For every great, grand and wonderful day we have as parents, there is at least one horrific one. For every cute, funny and adorable story we have to share, there is one where we cringe and wonder if that really happened. Today is that day.
Toby has been home all week with me. Surgery, sickness and silliness (I sound like a southern Baptist preacher!). And with today came WILLFULNESS!!! Toby is always a little more strong willed than most kids. His mama passed that little tendancy on to him... along with my big feet! When I was a child I learned the word for milk in spanish and when I came home, I was supposed to tell my dad what it was. But nooooooo! I refused. Through a spanking, some yelling and probably some pleading from my mom, I would not say that word! Toby has already in not even three years on this earth proven to me that he ain't gonna say "leche" either.
Today we had a battle of wills. And when you have a battle of wills with a 2 year old, you realize two things. 1 - It feels like you are not going to win and 2 - It is incredibly important that you do win. I heated up some lunch for the boy. He decided he didn't want to eat it. He would rather take a spanking on his bare butt, time out in his room or going to bed hungry rather than give in.
It went a little like this - bare butt spanking, threw himself on the floor, crawled across the room and started playing with his blocks. Time out in his room, crawled across the room and I found him sitting in his window behind his curtains playing with a toy. In bed with no food... well, he kept crying "i'll eat it now" and coming back out and demanding a lollipop.
He finally ate a few bites and then I put him in his room for a nap... where he promptly climbed out of the bed and started throwing toys at me... and not soft cushy toys but freaking cars and planes and crap. And yes, I said crap TO him too... as in "I am tired of this crap"
I finally laid down with him until the fit passed and he was all good... but now he is right back to sneaking out of his bed and trying to play with his toys. So I'm not sure if I won the battle but I know two things. One, this kid is gonna climb all over my very frayed last nerve today and two, little brat has figured out how to clench his butt to make the spankings hurt less.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Ok I'm gonna give you some advice from a mom who deals several TIMES A DAY with a child who has issues and isn't just willful. Pick your battles, I know you've heard it over and over and over, as we all have, but if you don't choose what battles to fight over, you will become exhausted. There are days that I just want to strangle her over the simplest things b/c you would think it would be easy. One battle I decided I wouldn't do is food. Esp with a girl, food can become a huge issue so I decided a long time ago that wasn't going to be a battle.
ReplyDeleteIn our house the way we do food is this, I make you something, either you eat it or you don't. If you don't eat it, it gets put in the fridge and you get nothing else. If you get hungry then you can eat that. Otherwise no snacks, no goodies nothing else. I do not force her to eat, I do not punish her for not eating and I do not fight her on it. It has worked for us for 6 years. There are times with her that she will eat all day long (like now while going through a growth spurt)and there are times she eats nothing. I never make her food unless she tells me she is hungry and she is not on a strict eating schedule and never has been.
As for other things, I look at the thing happening, is it going to hurt her, is it going to make a huge mess that I WILL HAVE TO CLEAN UP, is it really worth my getting flustered and upset over just to have a content and quiet child. I think as parents we sometimes want to always win the battles b/c we think we need to but I don't think we do. I think when we make compromises with them on certain things it helps them learn as they grow up how to do it. I've done it with Loralei since she was little and able to understand. Ok you do this and we'll do this, even on punishments, ok you make the choice, you do this and this is what is going to happen, one of these 2 consequences so make sure you really want to do what you're not suppose to do and it's worth it to get punished. Usually she doesn't do it lol But she is given that option to make that choice to make that decision. I know it doesn't work for all kids, heck it doesn't always work for her either but that's why you try different things. I have from what I can tell tried every trick in the book that there is to do with her. We have done the punishment, the reward, the bribe, the taking stuff away, the not going anywhere the spanking, the time outs, the whatever else there is, we have done it. Not all of it works for every situation and sometimes NONE of it works and you just have to give in and deal with it. She is in no way perfect and I will never claim her to be perfect (it's worse than pulling teeth to get her to clean up and clean up after herself). Just hang in there, know that you have people who have gone through it and sometimes worse (that's always a great thing to keep in your head, that what you're dealing with could be worse lol trust me, it's helped me on more than one occasion lol) and that it will be over and done with and forgotten soon.
You're doing great as a mom and Toby is lucky and blessed to have you as him mom. If you ever need to vent feel free. I've probably been there lol The stories I could tell you about Loralei would make you feel soo much better.
lol I just realized my comment is longer than your actual blog post lol Sorry didn't mean to rant and go on.
ReplyDelete